Why Moms Over 35 Secretly Feel Burned Out (and How to Rewrite the Script)
The Quiet Truth About Burnout in Midlife Motherhood
You love your children. You would do anything for them.
And yet… if you’re honest, there are moments you lie in bed at night and whisper to yourself: I’m so tired. I can’t keep doing it like this.
You scroll through Instagram and see other moms making crafts, cooking meals, smiling at school pickup. You tell yourself, I should be grateful. You silence the ache inside because you don’t want to admit the truth out loud:
✨ Sometimes you don’t like being a mom.
✨ Sometimes you fantasize about running away, even just for a day.
✨ Sometimes you wonder if you’ve lost yourself completely.
This is the secret burnout of moms over 35.
And you’re not alone.
Why Moms Over 35 Are So Vulnerable to Burnout
Burnout doesn’t happen overnight. It creeps in, drip by drip, until exhaustion feels normal. But there are real reasons why moms over 35…. whether first-time mothers, seasoned parents, or caregivers…. are especially vulnerable.
The Sandwich Generation Stress
If you’re over 35, chances are you’re not just caring for children… you may also be caring for aging parents or knowing you will. That “sandwich generation” pressure means you’re constantly giving, with no space to receive. In Cherry Hill and Philadelphia, I hear women share stories of driving from pediatric appointments to elder care visits, never once stopping for themselves.
The Weight of Expectations for Mothers
By midlife, you’ve absorbed decades of “good mother” messaging. Be patient, selfless, always available. Keep the house clean, the meals cooked, the schedule running along with balancing a career. Whether you live in Philadelphia, Short Hills, or Cape May, the script is the same: moms are praised for sacrifice, not for boundaries.
Hormonal and Physical Shifts for Women in Their Late 30s
Women in their late 30s and 40s often begin experiencing perimenopause symptoms… fatigue, mood swings, sleep disruption. Add sleepless nights with kids or teens, and burnout isn’t just emotional… it’s biological.
Lack of Real Support Systems
Not everyone has the kind of family they can lean on—sometimes they’re far away, sometimes they’re not supportive, and sometimes distance (emotional or otherwise) is healthier. Many women tell me they still feel lonely, even when technically “surrounded” by people. Friend groups shift and shrink. Extended family may not be the kind of support you actually need. And asking for help? It can feel like weakness. So you keep going, pushing through… until you just can’t anymore.
The Silent Shame
Here’s the hardest truth: moms are afraid to admit burnout because they fear being judged. A mom in Millburn once said to me, “If I say I’m exhausted, it feels like I’m saying I don’t love my kids.” That shame keeps women silent…. and keeps burnout festering.
What Burnout Really Means
Burnout doesn’t mean you’re weak.
Burnout doesn’t mean you’re failing.
Burnout means you’ve been running on empty for too long.
Think of it like this: if your phone battery is drained, you don’t criticize the phone…. you plug it in. Yet when moms feel depleted, we criticize ourselves instead of recharging. And we wait to recharge when drained versus recharging along the way.
✨The fact that you feel burned out means you’ve been giving deeply. That same capacity to give can be redirected… to yourself.
The Myths That Keep Moms Stuck
Let’s name the beliefs that keep burnout alive:
“Good moms don’t complain.” False. Good moms model honesty and ask for support.
“Self care is selfish.” False. Self care is survival—and the foundation of healthy motherhood.
“It’s too late to change.” False. Moms in their 40s and 50s reinvent themselves every day.
“If I slow down, everything will fall apart.” False. When you slow down, life actually becomes more manageable.
The Role of Self Care in Healing Burnout
Self care isn’t bubble baths and candles (though those help). It’s radical, practical, soul-level choices that restore your energy and identity. For moms in Philadelphia, Cape May, and New York, self care can look like:
Saying no to the third school committee.
Blocking 20 minutes a day for silence, journaling, or a walk.
Attending a local workshop in Marlton or Millburn that’s just for you.
Hiring help when possible—and letting go of guilt.
Creating boundaries around your time, energy, and emotional labor.
Self care is the act of saying: I matter, too.
Rewriting the Script: From Burnout to Renewal
The old script says: Mothers give until they disappear.
The new script says: Mothers can give while still being whole.
So how do you rewrite the script?
Step 1: Tell the Truth
Admit to yourself what’s really happening. “I’m exhausted.” “I need help.” Naming the truth is the first act of self-care.
Step 2: Release the Guilt
Your worth is not tied to how much you do. You’re allowed to rest. You’re allowed to take up space.
Step 3: Reclaim Your Identity
Who are you outside of “mom” or “caregiver”? Start exploring hobbies, passions, or career shifts. I work with women in Cherry Hill and Short Hills who are rediscovering their creativity, leadership, and ambition.
Step 4: Create Micro-Moments of Care
You don’t need a week-long retreat in New York City (though you deserve it). Start with five minutes of deep breathing, a daily walk in Cape May, or journaling before bed in Philadelphia.
Step 5: Get Support
Burnout thrives in isolation. Healing happens in connection. Coaching, therapy, workshops, or community groups give you tools, accountability, and solidarity.
Remember Lynette Scavo from Desperate Housewives?
She was the ultimate ‘burned out mom’—always running on empty, always last on her own list. Her story wasn’t just TV drama; it was a reflection of the silent burnout so many women over 35 are still living today.
Lynette is the picture of the “perfect suburban mom.” Four kids, a beautiful house, a husband with a career… she’s living the dream on the outside. AND she loves her kids fiercely, always trying to keep things together with school, soccer practice, birthday parties, and the endless demands of motherhood.
She’s exhausted, resentful, and often losing herself. Her storyline often shows her juggling impossible expectations—trying to do it all, smile through it, and still feel like she’s failing. She hides her burnout, numbing with humor or avoidance, because admitting she’s overwhelmed feels like admitting weakness.
Lynette’s story becomes a mirror for so many women over 35—mothers, caregivers, professionals—who feel invisible under the weight of responsibilities. Therefore, her arc shows us that pretending you’re fine only deepens the burnout. The real power lies in rewriting the script: choosing boundaries, reclaiming your identity, and saying “yes” to self-care and support.
You could position it like:
👉 “Remember Lynette from Desperate Housewives? She was the ultimate ‘burned out mom’—always running on empty, always last on her own list. Her story wasn’t just TV drama; it was a reflection of the silent burnout so many women over 35 are still living today.”
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
If you’ve Googled mom burnout, self care for moms, motherhood exhaustion, or whispered, “I can’t do this anymore”—know this: you’re not the only one. Moms in Marlton, Millburn, Philadelphia, Cape May, and New York are asking the same questions.
And the good news? Burnout isn’t the end of your story. It’s the beginning of a new chapter.
Final Thoughts: Burnout Is the Signal, Not the Sentence
When you feel burned out, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means your body, mind, and soul are calling you back to yourself.
✨ Imagine this: You wake up in the morning without dread. You move through the day with more ease. You set boundaries without guilt. You feel connected—to yourself, your children, and your life.
This isn’t just possible. It’s waiting for you.
Your Invitation
If you’re a mom over 35 navigating burnout, you don’t have to do this alone.
👉 Book a 1:1 session with me today—let’s rewrite your script together.
👉 Or head to The Journey page for upcoming virtual and in-person events in Philadelphia, Cape May, Cherry Hill, Marlton, Short Hills, Millburn, and New York—plus on-demand tools you can use anytime.
Because you are not here to disappear. You are here to live.
